I started this blog so I could write.  I am ashamed to say my last post on this blog was December 2012. That is disgraceful!  Of course, I have excuses.  I was working full time.  Now I am back to my most important full time job — mother.  I was busy, but not busy enough that I couldn’t write.  Imagine a whole year without writing.  I started this blog as my way to vent about things that make me ponder, muse or just plain make me upset.  It was a good outlet.  Then I started working.  My outlet became my coworkers.  We would rejoice over a student that came in with stellar placement scores or bemoan the student that was never prepared.  My fellow academic advisors became my work family.  Now, I am home with my family.  I miss that work family.  I still keep in touch with some of them. Occasionally, I get an email asking if I will clean out the refrigerator (wise guy!).  Then I think do I miss the day to day job. I can unequivocally say no. I really don’t.  I really did enjoy working especially helping students along their educational journey, but I don’t really miss it at all.  I substitute taught for four and half days at the end of the school year.  It was frustrating and rewarding.  Being a substitute teacher is not difficult, but it is not easy.  I enjoyed those four and half days.  I really enjoyed being back in the classroom.  I often think if I would like to go back and become a certified teacher.  The answer is no.  I started off my college career following the secondary education track, but it didn’t work out for me. I got sick and barely made it to graduation.  Being a substiute gives me the opporotunity to put into practice what I learned all those years ago, but I don’t have to deal with evaluations, parents, etc…  It really is a good gig.  So that’s where I’ve been.  My goal is to write about whatever makes me muse or rant about.  So Musings of a Banana is back and it feels good.

I just sent off a letter to the editor of the Albuquerque Journal.  It is in response to a column in today’s paper, http://www.abqjournal.com/main/2012/12/16/opinion/gun-arguments-die-in-latest-massacre.html

I usually read the column and think about sending in a letter, but never do.  I have no idea if it will be published, but I thought I would share.

In Leslie Linthicum’s December 16th column, she espouses the debate of gun control after the horrific shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newton, Connecticut. Reading her column it was clearly a knee jerk reaction. Ms. Linthicum writes that 9000 to 10,000 people die every year in firearm homicides and uses this statistic as a debate for more gun control. What about people who are killed every year by drunk drivers? According to Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), 10,228 people were killed in 2010 and 9,878 people were killed in 2011 from drunk drivers. On Friday, the same day as the shooting in Connecticut, my community lost a caring and compassionate woman due to injuries sustained when she and her husband were hit by a drunk driver. So when the hearings begin in Congress about banning guns than maybe we can go a step further and include alcohol. This may seem a silly and flawed argument to many, but so is Ms. Linthicum’s. We already have background checks in place and banning guns and ammunition clips doesn’t mean that a person who is intent on harm won’t find a way to carry out their attack. Maybe what we really need to be talking about is not gun control, but the state of mental health in this country. Ms. Linthicum says oh well people snap and it’s the “human condition”. That is not acceptable. The debate on how to treat those with mental health issues is what we need to focus on and how to help those who suffer. My heart aches for the families who lost loves ones in this senseless tragedy. I have two elementary school aged children and cannot imagine what it would be like to have to go through the pain and loss. I just believe that before we begin on another debate of gun control we take a closer look and put things into perspective. We will never understand this tragedy or the others that came before or may come after. As a country we will never accept children dying and we will never understand why a person decides to  harm others. We can start talking about our “collective responsibilities” to help and protect one another, but more gun control is not the answer. 

I really love this time of year.  It really brings all of the blessings and the things and people you are thankful for to the forefront.  It’s not that you are not thankful year around, it’s just that there is something about pumpkin pie, turkey and stuffing that make us remember the wonderful things in life.  This has been a year of adjustments for my family.  I got a job, my husband retired from the military, we moved, my youngest started kindergarten and my sweet (step)daughter is home after being on a mission in Brazil for our church.  I am thankful for this time to reflect.  This year we are not going anywhere. We are firmly planted at home.  I was secretly counting down the days until Thanksgiving because now that I work two days off from work, paid I might add, is wonderful.  I am thankful for my  job.  It was a tough adjustment.  I haven’t worked outside the home in 8 years. After the birth of our first son, my husband and I decided it made more sense economically for me to stay home.  We lived in the Washington, D.C. area and it was crazy expensive for day care.   Now fast forward eight years and I am back in the workforce doing something I love – advising college students.  I work at a community college so the population is diverse.  Sometimes it can be as simple as helping a student find a class, but other times the student just needs someone to listen to them.  I also work with some great people and have a super boss.  So while I am working, my wonderful husband takes care of our boys.  What a role reversal for him.  He is doing great. I know he gets  frustrated, but I also know that the boys enjoy their time spent with him.  So while taking care of the boys and the home, he is also a full time college student. He is almost done with his degree.  I think we have gotten some whispers behind our backs about our situation, but that’s okay.  My husband served 24 years in the military doing things that I didn’t even know he did until they read about them at his retirement.  The kind of things that were heroic and dangerous.  It was probably best that I didn’t know at the time.  The whispers are just that.  They mean nothing to us.  Everyone has a different path and this is our path right now.  I am so thankful for my education.  My husband encouraged me to continue my studies after we were married. He even scoped out local schools at the first base we were stationed at in New Jersey. I am thankful for my wonderful parents.  I have a very close and special relationship with my mom and dad.  They are always here for me no matter what.  They have always encouraged me to follow my dreams, be independent and speak up for myself.  I have no problem there (just ask the guy at the movie theater that was trying to save a whole row of seats).  I am thankful for my husband and for all that he does.  We get on each other’s nerves at times, but we always work it out.  After 18 years sometimes we need a little space.  I am thankful for my (step)daughter. She is great example to me, her dad and her brothers.  We have had our ups and downs, but the times we have together are always fun.  I love having her home and will miss her so  much when she returns to school in January.  I am thankful for my boys.  I love them so much.  They make me laugh, drive me crazy and make me feel so blessed to be their mom.  I am thankful for my family – my husband’s family, my brother, his wife, my nieces, my grandma who is feisty as ever at 90, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends.

We played a game recently where we pulled a letter out of the pile and wrote down what we are thankful for starting with that letter.  It was a fun game, but it got me to thinking how thankful I am for so many things. It’s not just my family but so much more.  We live in a great country.  We need to stay true to our beliefs and convictions.  I am resigned to the fact that the person who won the election will be around for 4 years. But 4 years can go by fast.  I am thankful to be able to blog. I love to write. I don’t do it often enough anymore, but I am so thankful to be able to express myself out loud.  I am thankful for books. My imagination grows by leaps and bounds with a good book.  Heating pads, cozy slippers, watermelon, tacos, the Lord, prayer, zebras, laughter, toilet paper well you get the idea.  Gratitude is an attitude and it is one that I hope I can keep all year long not just as I sit down to eat turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I was reminded of the time I was blamed for a person’s decision not to come to church anymore.  It was after the Proposition 8 vote in California.  I didn’t live in California and neither did this person, but it affected her husband and eventually her.  I was her visiting teacher for a time.  When this was happening I had been reassigned different women to visit.  I had no idea she was falling away.  Then the fateful day came that she announced to everyone in Relief Society that she didn’t believe Joseph Smith was a prophet. The air was sucked out of me. I had to leave the room.  She was one of our teachers and here she was announcing this.  After her lesson was over, the other sisters in the ward came up to her and hugged her. They gave her encouraging words. They said they would pray for her.  I felt impressed to tell her that maybe if she read Rough Stone Rolling about Joseph Smith that it might help give her a better perspective.  It didn’t and I was blamed by a few that I had caused her falling away from the church.  I felt horrible.  I wrote to her because by this time I had moved away.  She said it wasn’t my fault, but it was hard not to feel that way.  Then today I was told one of our Primary teachers wouldn’t be back.  She just called the Primary president and said I am not coming to church ever again and you need to find a new teacher.  What a punch in the gut.  She was just there last week.  I know this girl because I have advised her on her academic goals at the college where I work. Now I wonder if I will ever see her. Will she avoid coming into the office? I do know that I won’t say anything.  I will act as if nothing happened.  Maybe this isn’t right and I am sure there are many in the church who would say so, but I am not the judge of others actions or their testimonies.  I have learned my lesson.  One’s faith is so personal and even though we all have the same goal which is to return to Heavenly Father how we get there might not be the same.  I will not be running out to tell her to read a book or to pray a little harder.  I will let her be.  I will handle this one with care and I will pray a little harder in hopes that she will come back.

My older brother and I have never shared the same views on things.  He lives in California and well he’s always been left of center. Well that’s the way I saw it.  We talked about politics on occasion and although we disagreed it was okay.  That all changed this past week.  I foolishly answered a question he asked that was political in nature.  I then followed up.  Big mistake.  Then a phone call that I should never have answered.  A shouting match and me hanging up the phone ended it all.  I felt terrible.  I didn’t get a word in during the phone call only to say stop it and hung up, but it was enough to make me feel horrible. I already have one brother that has nothing to do with me or anyone else in my family for that matter.  I was so afraid that I was losing this brother too.  And it would all be over politics.  I only speak to a very select number of people about politics.  I have written about my views on this blog often.  I am a news junkie and yes, I did watch the RNC.  But after this experience, which is still somewhat raw, I have decided to keep my opinions about about politics to myself.  I will not be talking or writing about them.  I will keep my opinions to myself until after election day.  After telling my brother he said you have to be true to who you are.  That is so true, so I will just keep my mouth shut… for now.

Today was Chick-fil-A appreciation day.  It was brought to life by Mike Huckabee and others to support Dan Cathy, CEO of Chick-fil-a.  Cathy said on a radio show that he believes marriage is between a man and a woman.  That is the short version.  That was back in June.  Today people lined up to support Chick-fil-a.  There were also people who protested.  I did eat at Chick-fil-A today.  It wasn’t too exciting. The chicken sandwich was great as always.  I ate at the Student Union at the University of New Mexico.  There were no protests and no one batted an eye at my bag as I crossed the campus.  There were protests in Albuquerque, but far more people were there supporting the restaurant.  Mayors in Philadelphia, Boston and San Francisco all said they don’t want these restaurants in their cities.  That’s too bad because the chicken is so good.  But this is not about the chicken.  This is about someone having an opinion and because they are in a position of owning a company then they all of a sudden lose that right to speak freely.  If I don’t like something, I don’t watch it, buy it or listen to it — whatever may be the case.  There is no reason to protest or seek a ban on something because that entity does not agree with personal beliefs.  What has happened to this country?  Why can’t people just live and let live.  The country is divided.  It has gotten worse since a particular person took residence at the White House.  People can’t have opinions anymore.  The mayors of the cities that don’t want Chick-fil-A restaurants are trying to impose their beliefs on cities that have millions of people in them.  That is called fascism.  Forcing political beliefs on others is not the American way, but that is happening all over.  It is happening even in small towns over land being bought and sold.  People who should know better that politics and religion do not mix.  Chick-fil-A is a religious company. They are closed on Sundays.  It should come as no surprise that the CEO has the views he does.  If you don’t like something then don’t support it.  It is that simple.  Protests do little.  Money not spent does a lot.  Whichever side you are on, take that stand, but don’t trample on the rights of others to express their beliefs just because they don’t jive with yours.

I want to write but I have writer’s block. I am sitting here watching the Olympics and tears are in my eyes as I watched the Women’s Gymnastics team win gold.  How exciting for them.  I always wanted to be more athletic and be in the Olympics.  I would practice swimming at the pool every summer.  Of course, I am not a great swimmer so that was out.  I am not a gymnast so that was out. I can’t figure skate well I have never tried.  So my hopes of being an Olympian is probably not going to happen, but there is still hope. I saw an interview with Kim Rhode. She is a double trap and skeet shooter.  She is only 5 years younger than me.  Granted she has been in the Olympics 5 times and medaled each time. She also started shooting at a young age, but I am thinking I need to get out to range every chance I get to shoot.  I love target shooting. I don’t do it often enough.  Maybe this is my chance to live the dream that I have had since I was a little girl.  I am sure I can get my husband on board. He would love to spend more time at the range I am sure.  Now I just need sponsors.

It has  been 4 months since my last post.  So much has been happening in my life and that of my family.  The biggest change for all of us is my husband’s retirement from the Air Force.  We have been preparing for this since he made the decision that it was time to retire. He served 24 years and was more often than not away from his family doing his job.  Now that he is retiring some people don’t get it. They look at him and our young boys and say how can you be retiring.  A military retirement is different than someone retiring from a civilian company or business.  A military retirement is the first half of a veteran’s life. Then they have to now go out into the civilian world.  It can be tough.  As part of my husband’s decision, we had to make decisions as a family. We felt that with the economy the way it is that maybe I should get a job.  Also I wanted to stay in New Mexico so Bill said if you want to stay get a job. Whether he was joking or not, I got a job.  Now we are here planting roots in the Land of Enchantment.  Some don’t understand that Bill is staying home with the boys.  I think it will be a time that the boys will always remember.  I will admit that it is hard sometimes for me to go to work because I want to stay home with the boys.  So as we change our roles up a bit, I believe in the long run it will be a good for all of us.  Maybe we will learn things like  patience, humility and cooperation that sometimes can be lacking.

I often wonder if maybe the ones that have been somewhat less than understanding are actually jealous.  Maybe they want to retire at 41 years of age.   But how many of them left at a moment’s notice and couldn’t tell their family where they were going, flew into war zones to deliver much needed supplies with the threat of being shot down and spending days on end away from their families.  I would venture to say not many.  I don’t know what this next chapter of our life will be, but if it has been anything like the last 18 years we will be just fine.

After being home for 8 years with my boys, I think I was somewhat insulated from the outside world.  Now I am smack dab in the middle at a college campus.  One of the things I have really noticed is that people really love their coffee.  I was at a job fair event, one of my co-workers asked me where the coffee was and I didn’t have a clue.  She looked at me like I was an alien.  She also looked really out of it.  After getting her coffee, she was her bubbly self. The transformation was amazing.  I had a meeting at the university and was asked if I wanted coffee or tea. Neither, I replied.  Another look of what is up with this chick.  I do admit that I do like Dr. Pepper.  I sometimes like it a little too much.  So I guess I can understand those coffee drinkers in my office.  I also realize that I am not in a conservative bastion so it takes a lot for me sometimes not to say anything.  I have seen more Obama 2012 stickers that I ever thought I would and I want to shout “Are you crazy?”.  Of course, I can’t so I don’t.  I would never vandalize, but I have always wanted to go into a parking lot with a Sharpie and write on those Obama 2012 stickers — CRAZY!!!  Of course, if I did this I would be arrested after the story hit the local news and there is  video surveillance of me in the act.  I like my office and everyone so far has been helpful and nice.  I hope this isn’t a honeymoon phase.  I am anxious to move out of the training stage.  It is taking longer than expected for me to have access to the key program that all advisors use.  It is frustrating, but I have hope this coming week it will happen.  I will be able to start seeing students with minimum guidance and get back into advising which I really enjoy.    I am glad that my office is pretty relaxed.  We all look professional, but we don’t scare the students.  We can wear jeans any day of the week which is cool.  I remember when it was special to be able to wear jeans on Fridays.  I am thankful to be able to wear jeans because that is my wardrobe.  I did have fun shopping for “work” clothes, but I still love my jeans.    I am excited about this new path that I am on along with my husband and boys.  We are all on a learning curve, but slowly we will get it together.  Of course, it doesn’t hurt that my mom will be in town for the next two weeks.  I am not sure if she will be able to leave or if I will let her.  Only time will tell.