A lot has been going on. There is a lot of stress. We are moving and it’s been hard to accept even though it’s just 30 minutes away. Then my brother who for years hasn’t really had much to do with us finally severed the ties. I wrote the post below to help me through the feelings I am having. Although I do feel a sense of relief and a weight being lifted off me, I am still sad. I don’t expect comments and that’s okay. I write because it helps me to feel better. My mom told me a long time ago that when you have something going on in your life, the best thing to do is to write. I know that now we can share things instantly with the world. I could have tweeted. I could have put it on my Facebook status, but instead I chose to blog. The thing about Musings of a Banana is it’s my journal. I am able to write about things that make me think, things that make me want to scream and some things that make me want to cry. Writing can be a very healing experience. It can really open up those feelings that are hard to say in words out loud. The post below was for my benefit. If you read it, don’t feel like you must comment. I have faith that one day I will not have an estranged brother. He will be back, but until then I choose to write and it makes me feel better.
Monthly Archives: May 2011
Losing something that was never really there
I recently lost my brother. He didn’t die. He just has decided not to have a relationship with me. This is an answer I have been waiting to hear for awhile. It hurt when I read the email, but at the same time I felt some relief. All of these years I was trying to have a relationship with someone that didn’t want to have one with me. I was sending emails, cards, presents and making the actual phone call only to receive silence on the other end. I tried. I really did try. Now I have a brother and an estranged brother. He is the one that we don’t talk about. He doesn’t have anything to do with any of us. We never did anything to him. My parents supported him in everything he has ever done. If he was playing football, baseball or what ever sport was in season, my parents were there. I was there too. When he joined the Navy, my parents and I were there when he was sworn in and then when he graduated from basic training. When he got married, we were there. Then that’s the end. He got married. When I got married, I also married my husband’s family. They are a quirky bunch, but they stick by you. When my brother got married, he left. He wasn’t the same person. He and his wife had children and they became their own insular family. They have no contact with us. His wife’s family is not together. She doesn’t talk to her dad. Her mom is living her own life. She has a brother, but I don’t know about him. It is a sad feeling when you lose something especially something that has been with you since you were born. But it’s hard to be sad when what you had hasn’t been there for a long time.
A royal wedding, Osama, Pakistan and child support
I know, I know what a lengthy title and probably a little strange too. It has been far too long since I have been musing and really need to get it all out. So first things first. I didn’t get up at 2:00 am and watch the royal wedding. The only royal wedding I did that for was when Prince Andrew and Sarah “Fergie” Ferguson got married. I was 12 so I think it gets a pass. So while I did not get up and watch I did hit the internet to see what her dress looked like and to see the first kiss (or two) from the balcony. I am not awestruck, but I have to say I am a sucker for such pomp. The British have a reputation as being boring, but they sure do know how to put on a wedding. So after the royal wedding, Osama was found and killed. It was a like a wedding present to the world from the United States more accurately the Navy Seals. I was sitting in the living room when my husband came in and told me that Osama bin Laden was dead. I didn’t believe it. Then I saw President Obama on the Fox News and knew he wasn’t kidding. Personally I thought the guy was dead a long time ago. How wrong I was. He was not in a cave, but in a house watching videos of himself on Al Jazerra. Which leads me to Pakistan. If they think anybody believes that the government or military did not know that he was living just a few blocks away from Pakistan’s equvialent to West Point well I have ocean front property in Arizona. According to the Pakistani ambassador if it is found out that someone knew about Osama living among them in Pakistan, heads will roll. I don’t take this very seriously, but maybe something will happen. Pakistan has received $18.6 billion dollars since 2002. They shouldn’t be receiving anything at all nor should any other country. I totally agree with Ron Paul on this one. No foreign aid! So while that is all playing out, the NFL and possibly the NBA will have lockouts. The front page of the sports page in the Albuquerque Journal had a story about how the lockout would affect child support payments. Seriously, child support payments. In the players handbook about what to do during the lockout one section is devoted to child support and alimony. One women quoted in the story has a child with Antonio Cromartie, an NFL player who reportedly made $1.7 million last year. Her child is one of 9 by 8 different women. He needed an advance on his salary last year just to pay his child support. Then there is the basketball player, Shawn Kemp. He has 7 children with 7 different women. The list goes on and on. I don’t get it. In this video clip( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHe1AT-rk50&feature=player_embedded#at=42), Cromartie lists all of his children. Most are 2 to 3 years old. What the heck! We wonder as a society what is happening to our children. Which now leads me to something else I should have put in the title – polygamy. I am not a supporter, however, I wonder what is worse a man married to 2 or more wives who is involved in his children’s lives or a guy who has several children with women he is not married to and has very little contact with them? The players and there are certainly players in the NFL and NBA that need to learn to keep it zipped. Do they have children in every city that has a NFL or NBA team? There are young, aspiring football and basketball players who look up to these guys. I just hope they only admire their athletic ability and not their ability to father children. Okay so I ranted a little and it felt good. As summer is on it’s way, I will have more time to muse and rant. I am looking forward to this. So go forth and rant, rave and muse. It does a body good.